I have never believed in living only once. You live everyday. As you live everyday, there comes a time when you live a lifetime in a single moment...
Single
In a relationship
Engaged
Married
It's complicated
These are tags created by society to define our relationship status, but never for us to confine who we are or our happiness. Today is a day when happiness is abundant; colors of red, flavors of sweets, and scents of flowers. Love and happiness is not just for those who belong to someone but for everyone who has a heart that can feel; for those who by themselves are complete, for those who are longing and hoping, even for those who are breaking yet believing that one day love will find its way. It is a day for those of us who are crazy enough to give without any in return, to give at the risk of heartache. You and I, are crazy-enough people doing things to make our feelings known no matter what the outcome is. Today is all and of a chance, a take on what tomorrow may be.
The sun is so warm, and the cool wind blowing. It's magical. When I close my eyes, I see you next to me. I feel you.
Just when I thought the day couldn't get any better, there was you. A face without a name, a name without a face. Yet in my heart I knew, you are here. More than this, there is you. More than I am, I am at the top of the world; like a child with his first slice of cake, the sun in the fresh new morning, the moon sitting on a birch. I find myself here, found and lost at the same time. The world stopped revolving.
That moment when the background goes blurred, and the camera moves around slowly while the leaves dance with the wind. There's me and a piece of you...
In time it will reveal...
While I have shared the happiness to those who have witnessed your gesture, while everyone else's curiosity you have sparked; it leaves me to myself that only time can truly tell where the road leads. Worry not, and keep the memories instead. Today, you have that piece of me and a mark on me, as I am with you.
May you find what you're looking for and may my notes bring colors in your days ahead. I pray that you will have time to visit. 'Tis a remembrance of a day in my life.
Happy Hearts Day 1Z 4Y 1X 5W 1V 4U:2 from the bottom of my heart.
Ever grateful,
Cup of Hot Cocoa
To My Cup of Hot Cocoa,
ReplyDeleteOh how great it feels and sounds, those six words elevates my soul with joy in leaps and bounds. To (“MY”) Cup of Hot Cocoa – that single word makes me all the way go loco! That single word is but a point at the center of our crossed roads, that in time I’ll be standing on. Anticipating. Waiting until it’s time for me to say “hello…I’ve been waiting for you, I hope you’ve been waiting for me too”.
I am over the moon to see you in full bloom over cakes intended for my heart’s desires to be known, and at long last take away its gloom. Right now if there’s a place higher than heaven, that is where I am. Smitten. Seeing the smiles on your lips and your eyes, I’m like a champion never been beaten.
Bliss. Your kind words are like chocolate kisses that make me write poems in pages and verses. Abyss. A void in my heart has been filled now that my feelings are known and no longer amiss. Crises. Yes, I was there in glimpse, in moments, hiding behind the card, the box and its creases.
Now that you’re aware, I guess it’s but fair that a little of my soul I bare. This is something new to me. As I’ve said in the past, I never saw it coming. Have always been in love with women but only in lust with men. You are but an exception I never thought would happen.
It is with ultimate happiness but with tremendous fear that I allow myself to feel this way. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. It’s a gamble I’m willing to bet on. Putting my heart on a limb. At the back of my mind, letting you know of that piece of me might turn you away. But I trust that your heart will never sway. For I know you better than to be dismayed. My heart feels what it feels. It loves when it does and by this time, I wouldn’t bother making a fuss.
They say Love is written by those who are courageous, spoken by the fearless, acted upon by those bold enough to experience feelings of ecstasy when it’s right and feelings of pain when it’s gone wrong.
I’m getting there. This is one coward who’s putting his best foot forward.
When I was young I have prayed for someone like you, in all honesty I was asking for a woman. I just never thought God will allow me to find it in you, a man. It’s my compounding dilemma, unable to comprehend God’s schema.
Over days and weeks I’ve battled with my heart, to know how this came about. There were nights when all I can do is clutch my pillows imagining it was you. There were days I was unable to work because all I think about is a future with you. Weekends are spent daydreaming of imaginary future situations and events where we’ve been close and apart, in love and broken up. The latter brings me to tears until I’m woken up. Crazy. In my mind we’ve been together for forever, yet less than 24 hours is the most you and I have spent and never over.
I may be a face without a name and a name without a face. A puzzle I leave for you to figure out when your heart is ready to come out. Ready to trek your road as I am trekking mine. In time, with patience I’ll slowly be walking, towards crossing your path to start a glorious beginning. Tender. Subdued by fragility, fully aware of the despair when the body I reach out for at night is not there. I hope you allow my poems to fire my fever and to thank you for the pleasure of being your secret admirer.
Yes I will keep the memories, old and new. But because of distance apart they may be very few, I’ll forever treasure them because it was with you. I pray you won’t find me out, not until I’ve won the bout. A battle that my heart cries out hoping, imagining, desperately sculpting to be the perfect guy you’ve dreamed about. And if in time I have revealed who I am and yet you think I’m not the one, forever you want to spend? That’s okay. I can still say, I have taken a sip and felt the warmth. I have loved the greatest love I could have ever loved.
You are MY exception.
Your pillow clutcher,
1Z 4Y 1X 5W 1V 4U:2
I read my letter once more, apologies if I sound a bit presumptuous. My emotions got the better of me, I guess I was too elated to know that I brought you a bit of happiness on a special day.
ReplyDelete-1Z 4Y 1X 5W 1V 4U:2
The week has been hectic and thoughts of you had been erratic. Sometimes I feel like an addict, that I forcibly think of you just to feel ecstatic. Nomadic. You are but an oasis for a traveler whose thirst is specific.
ReplyDeleteAt nights when I step out of the office I stare at the moon and pray to God that by others, you haven’t been swooned. And as I blur out the silence of Manila’s main avenue I pray I could be where you are just to see a glimpse of you.
Painful. Not seeing you makes the week a little bit awful. Longing. It led me to your wall and found me constantly staring at your face with your smile seemingly glaring and making things all the more exciting.
Out of the abundance of the heart words are written or spoken. Broken. It tears my heart to know that you think you’re less than the person who penned your writing. Disputing. You are more than what you led yourself to believe. Cleave. I’ve seen your generosity, your courage, your kindness, your silliness, your playfulness, your ability to care, this and all is what others also perceive.
Text. Now that we’ve started, I can’t wait for whatever’s happens next. It may be too far from today, but as you’ve said, maybe someday. Hopeful that when it comes, you and I can finally date or get to spend lazy Saturdays.
I have dreamt of you for the last week. There were dreams of kissing, hugging, laughing and by some erotic chance, some love making. Oh how I wish those were real and my skin would actually feel. Even though those dreams leave my globes a little blue, I’ll patiently wait until they finally come true.
I look forward to another week. Wanting. Waiting. Dreaming.